You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
