Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize