I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
