This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize