I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
