I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
