there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My first STD was from a foam party
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
