It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize