dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
