"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
