Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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