I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
