You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
