why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
