so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
