i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
what day is it and did you see me today?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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