we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize