i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
