Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
