Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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