I wanna bring you to show and tell
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
