sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize
