wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
