It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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