Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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