I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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