I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
