I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
