Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
