I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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