dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
