i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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