dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
