Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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