I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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