I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We got so high we made milksteak
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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