"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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