Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
