I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
tell me about the fingering
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
