Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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