Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The uberlube is also flammable
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
