This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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