It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
