I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
