Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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