i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
