How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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