I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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