Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize