Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
