The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
