So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
