Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
