it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
