Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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