He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize