Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize