I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
