You really coming over, don't trick.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
