I am puke
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
