Screwed.edu
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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