Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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