after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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