I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
