it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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