this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
