So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
