How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
