Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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