if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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