big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
that's an acceptable place to lick
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
