I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
sex in a hospital.. check
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
