just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
