they need to just BURY HIM!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
