dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
