is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
