I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Two words: blizzard sex
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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