Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
