Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
