we have officially lost it.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
