miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
